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Badly Describing Halo's Lore

OP An Emu in a Hat

Halo's lore is deep and expansive, spanning galaxies and millennia. It fleshes out characters and can offer a greater understanding of the narrative. It is what makes the Halo universe so fascinating. However, some things may get lost in translation.
The following statement is highly classified, (TIER 1), something ONI wouldn't want getting out.

.....// Click at your own risk //.....
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Shocking, but now you try.
Oh dear, oh dear. Darn jackals stealing everything.

Here is my go
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Forgive me if I get a few details wrong here
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When Jackals stole Watermelons,we wanted to punish humans for jacakls stealing their watermelons.
Okay, my turn.

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A religious group want end all life in the galaxy by using giant space onion rings