We took the red panda as a symbol because when we're backed into a corner, we roll on our backs and urinate all over ourselves just like this majestic creature. We are dynamic figures, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. We translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, some of us write award-winning operas but all of us manage time efficiently. Occasionally, Prophet0ne
has been known to tread water for three days in a row. Critics worldwide swoon over his original line of corduroy evening wear. None of us perspire. We are all private citizens, yet we all receive fan mail. We balance, weave, dodge, and frolic. On weekends, to let off steam, we have a full-contact origami club. We have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
We all have kids or families or jobs or kids with jobs (except Job, he has no kids and no job). If you'd like to be part of this old, tired Spartan Company, feel free to join us on our quest to remember what the names of the maps are.Feel free to also send friend requests to our leaders; links should open their Xbox Profiles to make it easier.
- Wondermonkey2k (Leader; New Jersey) a vending machine prize brought to life by a benevolent witch.
- KEEZY (1st Lieutenant; North Carolina) spends so much time at craft breweries he has places to sleep at each one in Charlotte.
- J Axel 47 (2nd Lieutenant; Michigan) Sarah Palin is his aunt.
- Boxfortsurprise (3rd Lieutenant; America Jr.) invented the "thumbs up" hand sign.
- ExtremeElite22 (Unpaid Intern; Mozambique) always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
Currently we coordinate games using an app called Discord
. Go ahead and download it and get yourself set up in it. Then ask one of the leaders for an invite. A word of warning, it can get loud in there so you may want to consider muting that group while you're at work.