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Gruntpocalypse

A flying "V" of Grunts from Halo Infinite
A generic Grunt image, masking the mysterious identity of the Bard of Balaho.
  -  16 days ago

So we heard mentions that you humans are big into fightin’ fires with your fancy metal shooter suits. Finally got tired of fightin’ each other and started pickin’ on the Banished instead.  

Well lemme just tell ya—you picked the wrong methane pool to drink from this time, human! 

All your bullyin’ hasn’t gone unnoticed, and so it’s time for a little plasma-powered payback—it's time for… GRUNTPOCALYPSE! 

Halo Infinite Grunts fighting Spartans in Firefight: King of the Hill

Yeah, you heard that right. For the next two weeks, it’s time to take on an all-conquering, undefeated, unbeatable Unggoy army in this new Infinite Firefight: King of the Halo game you like to play (I think that’s what it’s called?)! 

This time, you’ll be facing off against the greatest contingent of Balaho Banished you’ve ever seens!  It's all Grunts, all the time. A war chief’s dream, really. And when you realize the futility of your situations, you’ll have to hope your feet don’t fail you as you run cryin’ back to your disappointed parents! 

Oh and did we mentions that there’s a twist? Yeah, we know you Spartans are always tryin’ to get ahead, so Skulls are guaranteed in every round—don't matter if you die, respawn, or get broughted back to life, the Skull magic is still on tap. Oh, and for humans who love a good Grunt birthday party, there’s also a Fiesta version of Gruntpocalypse where you gets random loadouts each time you respawns.  

A Grunt holding plasma grenades facing off against a Spartan holding a Rocket Launcher

So that abouts sums it up. You know the drill—squad up, stand your grounds, and see if you can still do that Spartan thing you like to do. But don’t be surprised if yer yap gets smacked!